DREAM: VIXEN AND THE SHEARS

Time for another dream!

I was working out of this big house and a lot of the people that I work with at my current job were there. I was coming in to work late and when I got there, my cat Vixen came up to me as usual. Immediately I know something was amiss. She was walking funny, shaking and more crying than meowing. I picked her up to kiss and console her and I noticed blood on her right front paw. On further examination I found that her toes had been cut off! Not just a single foot though but every single one of her precious kitty toes was mangled off.

I lost it. I dug through the miscellaneous drawer until I grasped onto the object I needed, a pair of huge, industrial, shiny silver shears. I then proceeded to grab everybody one by one, toss them against a solid surface and with one of their pinkies between my shears, violently demand to know what the hell happened.

Working from person to person and interrogating them, I finally found the culprit. As tears of anger were streaming down my face, I grabbed the woman out of her minivan as she was trying to leave. Pushing her up against her ride with the shears at her throat I asked what her motives were. This fat waste of space replied in a smug tone, "I saw her scratching one of the chairs so I declawed her."

My head nearly exploded.

"You couldn't wait until I came in to tell me so that I could take her home!?" I screamed.

She just shrugged.

I then cut off her pinky fingers, took her to court, sued her for attacking my cat and actually won. Vixen unfortunately was never the same.

I woke up on the verge of tears, angry and panicked but Vixen was right there and just fine. That morning she gave me tons of lovin' and I told her the whole story. She seemed grateful to have a parent that would never let anything like that ever happen.

Moral of the story:
Never declaw cats and don't you ever, ever hurt one of my felines or I will fuck you up.