NEW HOUSE PREP

I haven't posted much this week due to the new house. I know it's not very exciting but I guess I'll give a run down of how it's coming along.

Tuesday:

We received the keys. There were a butt-ton as each door (front top/bottom, back top/bottom, garage, studio and gate) all have their own keys and there were lots of duplicates. Borrowed my mother's vacuum so Nicky swept the carpets. Rented a rug doctor so I cleaned all the carpets.

Wednesday:

Nicky painters taped off the babies room and started primering the edging after I pulled the doors off and plastic covered the floor. I started cleaning out the studio of all the wood and shop scraps from the previous owner. I straightened up the garage, removed this old ugly wall fan from the kitchen and got replacement tile for the few broken ones downstairs.

Thursday:

Nicky went with sister-in-law Jennifer to go primer the rest of the babies room. I stayed at the old place and continued to pack with random breaks to play Call of Duty.

That's it for now! We'll probably do more packing tonight but we aren't doing any moving until next week. I have Warrior Dash on Sunday and I don't want to randomly screw myself up moving a bunch of heavy crap. It may seem lame but you would do the same thing if you had been preparing for this run as long as I have. Plus we have until the 12th to get out of our old pad.

1316 N. ST. PAUL

At 2:00 p.m. the final papers will be signed, money will be transferred, hands will be shook and keys will be dished out. Today is the day we close on the house. So as of two o' clock on this fine day, I will officially be a homeowner. Wow... guess I'm kind of an adult now.

FIGHTING GAME MOVIES

I like video games. They let me escape into other realities and loose my frustrations in a healthy way. Sometimes there's a decent amount of cussing involved... but still. One decidedly nice venue for anger management is the fighter genre. Nothing makes a person feel better like smashing an opponents face or filleting them with a weapon. So when I put countless hours of ass whipping into a game, I start to grow fond of the characters and their franchise. So when a movie comes out under the banner of a revered fighting game that I have poured my heart into, I can't help but get a little excited. The problem is they all suck. This tends to be the case with most video game movies but especially for the fighting class. The Street Fighter's, Mortal Kombat's, Dead or Alive, Double Dragon and the movie that I just watched that spawned this rant, Tekken. They were all terrible. Anyone that tells you otherwise has no taste in movies or is so in love with that particular brand that they forgave far too much.

Why is it so hard to make a decent fighting game to silver screen adaptation?! Get real martial artists, quality choreographers, a semi-reputable writer/director combo and your in. I just got done watching the first two Ip Man's and they were freaking amazing. Just do what they did but with fairly recognizable costumes and the appropriate names. Don't stick people that can't brawl in a fighters role, damn it! It's painfully obvious when you have to use a plethora of cut scenes to make it look like an intense battle due to your actors overwhelming wuss factor. While I'm at it, let me run through some suggestions to make a good fighting game movie.

• Use actual fighters, martial artists or people with combat training.
• Insert a ton of fight sequences and keep the drama to a minimum.
• Don't stuff bimbos with big tits in the flick to appease moronic men because we aren't buying that they have any real skills other than the kind on a pole.
• Cut scenes are the lame way to fake a fight.
• Real warriors don't fight in stipper heels and big plastic outfits with dumb protrusions. Spruce them up but don't lose focus of their practicality and actual use.
• It's not necessary to say the characters names over and over again. We're smart enough to catch little hints like wanted posters, military name tags and subtle name drops. Hell... don't even tell us them all and let the fans figure it out.
• Flirting isn't needed among combatants. They are there to annihilate the competition, not hump them.
• Keep the talking to a minimum. Anyone who has actually trained for years to fight ninjas in real life probably can't act that well. Write and direct accordingly.
• Overuse of computer graphics makes anything cheesy and we are already battling the nerdy game stigma. Use real places like dojo's, abandoned warehouses and roof tops. You can always "Finish Them!" by uppercutting the loser off of a forty story building.
• Recognizable actors are only needed if they can actually throw down. And guys like Van Damme and Lambert, as much as I love them, usually make it corny even if they do have some training.

Just once I would like to see a seamless blend of a stellar kung-fu flick and one of my favorite fighting games. How bad ass would it be if Tony Jaa played Liu Kang or Ray Park rocked Guile? I would kill for a quality adaptation of Eternal Champions but I'd rather go without then get another Mortal Kombat: Annihilation quality movie. I mean just look at this. Terrible.

CHEVY AVEO

As some people already know, Nicky has an orange colored Chevy Aveo. Hence, you've probably seen me driving or riding in it as well. If you're not familiar with this particular car, it's because it's a deceptive little turd and not something normal people would typically ever consider buying. It poses as an "eco" car due to it's size and shape. Unfortunately it's not really that great on gas mileage at lower 30's. That's not bad but it's not really an advantage either. At least if you drive one of those tiny cars that really are eco friendly you have the satisfaction of saving money and the planet.

The Aveo's deception doesn't stop there. It may sport the Chevrolet brand but it's actually a Korean made Daewoo. It's the America sold version of the Suzuki Swift, making it's parts fairly pricey. Nicky has had it for about 7 years and it has been falling apart from day one. This thing is so lame that even Haynes and Chiltons, the two biggest auto repair manual companies known to man, don't even make repair guides for it.

Lastly, it's just so unmasculine. You might think that it's a perfect fit for a girl but Nicky doesn't really like it either. She would much rather have a beefy classic muscle car. The only bit of good that I can boast about this little rolling orange nugget is that it's surprisingly roomy and the hatchback is quite handy. Big deal. You can get that with a billion other cars.

I just felt like bitching about that damn car. I can't wait until we pay it off and we have the option of selling it for something better for the earth or with a little bigger balls.

THE THING REMAKE

My worst fear has come true. The Thing, my most beloved movie of all time, is being remade/prequeled.

*faints*

I knew the Hollywood movie cash machine would churn out a buck on this title eventually. I also know the John Carpenter version was a remake itself, but it was almost flawless. What's worse is this new version will be a clone of that magnificent 1982 version that stared Kurt Russel. What scares me most of all is that it's being directed by a guy that I've never heard of. Why couldn't it be done by Christopher Nolan (Inception, Memento, recent Batman's) or Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, Black Swan)?!

Now to give it some credit, the poster doesn't look too shabby. It pays homage to the 82' version pretty well. I read from some different sources online that it's supposed to show some of the events before the Carpenter version. Unfortunately it will change a few of the facts around thus making it more of a remake than a prequel. That already pisses me off. So this uppity creative team thinks they're idea is better yet they're still going to stand on John's shoulders? Besides, how are you going to top Kurt Russel. He was freaking cool as hell in this flick. Hollywood has a history of whoring out every classic title for a quick buck and filling it with young and beautiful performers that could be out acted by porn stars. Needless to say, I'm quite troubled. I'll see it because I just gotta know if it's worthy but I will keep my hopes at an all time low. If that's even possible for my favorite movie. *sigh*

The Thing (2011)

NEW HOME WATER USEAGE

The house that Nicky and I are in the process of buying has two wells. One in the basement and one out back for the garden and studio toiletries. We had to have the city of Wichita come out and inspect them both since this house has only had one owner. Well come to find out that the water has been polluted by Jim Morgan's Fine Drycleaning. Real fine Jim, you prick. Thirty years of experience... and poisoning your community!

Anyways, the city found that the state of Kansas already tested the site and declared that it's still satisfactory for lawn and garden watering and other activities like filling pools. But they're saying we can't use if for any drinking purposes and we have to post a sign stating that it's not for consumption.

Does that seem safe? Why would I even risk eating veggies grown from this chemical laden liquid, let alone wallow in it? Doesn't that seem a bit odd? It makes you wonder what else is "acceptable" that we are already consuming. I'm definitely going to do more research before I risk my families health by munching infected plants.

POTENTIAL HOUSE PURCHASE

We are very close to closing the deal on the house we like. Three bedrooms, a pretty decent sized kitchen and a huge fully finished basement are just the beginning. It's got the older style that we like, a two car garage for my gym, a detached workshop with a bathroom that we can convert to a studio, two entrances to the property and a nice sized chunk of land that we can do some serious gardening on for our self sustaining goals. It's in a decent neighborhood and it's quite close to Riverside, which we love. So far, the inspector had barely any issues and the exterminator found no signs of pests or damage either. Plus the place comes with a deep freezer, washer/dryer, normal kitchen appliances and a random old out of tune piano! All in all, I would have to say it's damn near perfect. Check out the aerial shot:



I mean look how big that lot is compared to the two neighbors at the bottom of the map! Can you believe how big that back yard is?! Anyways, we are close to closing but you never know what might pop up... so cross your fingers!

MY FATHER

Yesterday, July 6th, was my fathers birthday. After stopping by to say hi, it caused me to reflect on what parts of myself are derived from him. I might have "Mom Rocks" tattooed on my neck for all that she has done for me, but I owe a ton of who I am to my dad as well. I didn't delve much into the physical characteristics, just my quirks, skills and persona.

The biggest thing that stands out in my head is the artistic aspect of myself. You see, my father dabbled in art in his youth. He painted, drew and even did photography. I can still remember seeing some of his cool sketches for the first time. It really inspired me to take up the pad and pencil and pour my own mind out into visual form. I used to watch him paint landscapes under the loving guidance of Bob Ross (or his awesome German stand in who's name I forget) on TV. I never got much into painting, but again it inspired me to try my hand in all forms of art. I honestly would never have became an artist without the creative spark he lit inside me.

Some might snicker about it but my bravado, outgoing personality and lovable charm are also definitely from my father. At times, pops might be goofy and kind of cheesy with his wit and humor, but he's always the life of the party. That's actually pretty awesome as it keeps me from being socially retarded or uncomfortable in any setting. I can spark up a conversation with damn near anyone and that's really important for a freelance photographer who's occasionally trying to dig up clients. Plus the innate ability to make people laugh, even if they are laughing at you, is a good thing to have. Everyone needs to smile more.

I learned to fight and be buck wild due to my pops and the Garcia side. I took up nunchucks as a result of watching him practice with his. My love of pool and beer has got to be a result of him. Hell, all the ways to be a rough and tumbling man's man came from his lead. I probably even gained my odd fascination for suspenders from my daddy-o too.

All in all, Lawrence Dean Garcia, thank you. Every time I watch Terminator, drink Miller or hear Bad Company, Foreigner or Boston, I'll tip my hat to you.
I love you pops.



Yep, that's me as a wee little boy and my father.

EAR BUDS

This is pretty nasty but I felt like sharing. I accidentally pulled the rubber piece off of my left ear bud last Friday and I what I saw nearly made me vomit. Caked underneath was a delicious coating of earwax. All the nooks, crevasses and crannies were filled with years worth of ear secretion. If my love of music and necessity to listen to tunes at work had been any less sound, I would have pitched them in the trash immediately. Instead I scrubbed, scrapped and disinfected them to a degree that any germaphobe would have approved of.

I'm a very well-kept individual and I thoroughly clean my ears. I also keep my toys clean. But under the rubber ear protector is a place that never really popped into my head to remove and sterilize. Obviously extremely minute particles of stray wax are bound to build up over a long period of time under there. Now I am the wiser and it made me start inspecting all my daily used objects for gaps filled with ick.

Really there are only two paths you can follow now. Clean your headphones or you can go with the ostrich theory and never peek under that comfortable outer seal. If you keep your head in the sand and don't look, it doesn't exist... right? Right!?

Ew.

RUN RABBIT RUN

Someone recently asked me what I think about while I'm running. That question requires a little bit more info to answer. Now be warned. What you are about to read is nerdy and a little embarrassing. But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. Most people sit and watch MTV soap operas and pack on the pounds all while I'm out training for life or death situations. Plus, I want my ass to look good in jeans.

Just like when I create art, I always listen to music when I run. I typically use gritty techno or tunes with solid beats but I sometimes use epic scores or soundtracks. They make it seem all dramatic in my head when in fact I'm kicking my own ass. So when I'm working out, it's sort of like I'm in the "preparing for combat" montage in an action movie. Like when Rocky trains for the big fight or Schwarzenegger gears up and smears himself with mud in Predator. I sometimes imagine that I'm some kind of experimental genetic hybrid between the ancient Aztec warriors and the perfect German super soldier. Through my veins runs the last hope for humanity.

This is the point where you snicker.

Look, I know it's corny. But I'm still a little kid at heart and almost all little boys want to kick ass. Pretending that I'm building up to save the world keeps me focused. It also keeps my mind from worrying if I'm going to pass out or not. Even though I do believe that it's good for you and it's essential for a well rounded workout, I freaking hate running.

Image Credit