TOILET SEAT WARMTH

One of the most physically unsettling experiences is when you sit on a public commode and the seat is warm. I realize that it's going to get used by other people and that's a risk you take. That's just too close of a sharing period for me. But sometimes your bung tells you when it's time to go and you just have to make a mad dash. When you hit the toilet and you feel that balmy heat your lip curls and your gag reflex starts to kick in. Here are ten thoughts that might pop into your head.


1. If the seat is still warm then there are probably fresh cooties still wiggling around.

2. Hundreds upon hundreds of icky cheeks have hit that seat.

3. Most people are sweaty, hairy, unsanitary beasts.

4. The gas station attendant who stands around all day, mouth agape, doesn't give a rats ass about bathroom cleanliness. Plus he most likely won't even clean until the end of his shift... unless someone ralphs or sprays poo all over. Ew.

5. How many diseases can be transferred via toilet seats.

6. Even if you covered the seat with four strips or more of TP, gaps and slipping happen.

7. The moron who scrawled something about your mother and a good time on the stall wall probably wasn't really paying attention to how well or where he wiped.

8. Your butt just kind of kissed another person of the same sex's butt. That's weird even if you're gay.

9. Dry, wadded or folded up, handfuls of thin paper, not only aren't very protective but also don't really clean the "affected" area very well.

10. Nicolas Cage probably sat on that seat not 30 seconds before you.


Kinda makes you want to take along your own seat bib and a huge can of Lysol. It's either that or work on your hovering bombardier skills.

Happy pooping!