CHAPSTICK

I don't understand why people feel the need to toy with lip balm. It shouldn't tingle unless your lips are jacked up and you're using the medicated version of Chapstick. They also shouldn't taste like random stuff like bubblegum, root beer, muffins, strawberries, chihuahua feet, spark plugs or even six day old rotting monkey meat. When it tastes delicious I lick and suck it off which only makes your pucker flower worse.

You might be thinking it makes kissing someone taste good. This is true, but putting a donkey in a dress doesn't mean you should take it to the prom. If the person you are locking face sphincters with has that nasty tasting of lips then maybe you should reevaluate things a bit.

Moral of my rant is this, no one should have smelly, greasy, sparkly or flavored lips. Lipstick or even lip gloss is fine if you want to doll up a bit. Just stop infusing mouth rim goo with weird stuff. Thank you!