Thursday, June 28, 2012

MOBILE GAMES

My nuclear family and I ran into the monstrosity that you see below down at the Wichita River Festival a couple weeks ago. I snapped a pic of it with my phone out of sheer disgust then completely forgot about, it until now. Basically they get people (I say people instead of young-ins since grown ass adults seem to do this too) to leave their video games at home and come out to a public festival so that they can pay money to play video games outside. I thought the point of an outdoors celebration was so we can be doing exciting things with our community that we can't do at home?



Tuesday, June 12, 2012

REVIEW: PROMETHEUS

Short (Semi-Spoiler Free) Verdict

Impetuous scientists race to another world to find the beings that made us. But as every Sci-fi junkie knows, aliens rarely play nice and deep space trips always go awry. Predictable and ripe with cliche's but it's still a pretty entertaining space flick. This is a good movie to see at the theaters on a huge screen and extremely loud.

Movie Stars: ★★★★☆

Full Review (SPOILER ALERT)

Ridley Scott, the man behind Aliens, has brought us a prequel to the Alien movies... kind of. But before I get the Alien connections, let me tell you what I found retarded.

My biggest complaint was the cliche and moronic scientists and crew. First of all, they were probably all far too young. Couldn't the insanely rich Weyland corporation afford the best of the best in each field? Then you get to each character individually and there are some serious flaws.

The geologist was a money hungry Neanderthal with tattoos all over his head. This totally makes sense because there are lot's of experts out there that look like they came out of Braveheart.He contributes by mapping out the area yet he still gets lost? The biologist was also a joke. When confronted with a new lifeform, he makes goo-goo noises at it until it attacks him. It reared up like a damn cobra and he wants to pet it?  Worst. Scientist. Ever.

The rest of the crew just bumbled around making rash decisions and acting extremely unprofessional. Sex was rampant and everyone acted like they were on a trip to Hawaii. If I land on a uncharted planet, I'm going to assume everything is hostile and be on point at all times. Plus there was no security personnel on board. The owner of this insanely rich corporation is on the ship and he doesn't even bring a body guard? At least they had the forethought to bring a few flame throwers and guns.

Then you get to the robot David which didn't act like a robot at all. For a cybernetic organism that should have some sort of ingrained safety and scientific protocols built in, it sure did act without regard to itself and others quite often. It kept opening doors before the team was ready and touching potentially infected things. Then it kept smiling all the time, giddily played with the star chart and it dyed it's hair? Sorry Michael Fassbender, you sucked in this role and your character was lame.

Lastly, I want to bitch about the lead chick. She did fine in her role but they had her doing stupid and impossible stuff. Later in the film she has a cesarean to remove a squid baby while completely conscious. Immediately afterward she hops right up, goes running, jumps chasms and even gets slugged in the gut. Even if she could bypass the pain with drugs and sheer willpower, those staples would have ripped out. She would have bled to death in her space suit after her first space jog.

Our creators, The Engineers, were pretty cool though. I like that they never spoke. The only issue that I really had was that they used a freaking flute to start a star ship. That's just stupid. But they looked rad, were pretty bad-ass physically and their suits were cool and that leads me right into my connection with the Aliens movies.

The associations were there, just not exactly like it was in Aliens series. The bacteria pods looked like face-hugger eggs and there mural on the wall looked remarkable like a xenomorph from Aliens. The Engineers ship was almost just like the one they found on LV-426. For those that don't know, LV-426 was the planet where Sigourney Weaver first came into contact with the acid blooded creatures that we all know and love. Even the Engineers suit and control room was damn near identical to the one in Alien. Then of course the Weyland corporation has had their hand in all of the movies.

What I don't get is the bit about the zombie geologist that comes back to attack the ship. Everything else points that we are just hosts for killer creatures. The one infected guy coming back as a mindless juggernaut of death is out of place. Were the Engineers making us the bio-weapon to kill ourselves? Was the xenomorph a miscalculated side-effect? Ridley, get your shit straight.

This was still a very entertaining movie even with it's traditional Hollywood blunders. The effects and sets were awesome. The story wasn't super original and it was a little predictable though I very much enjoyed the whole "Where did we come from?" aspect. This movie just needed some tweaking.

The moral of the story was that dicks beget dicks so whoever made us must be flawed as well. Aliens are just as shitty as we are.

Poster Examination

This poster isn't bad but it doesn't say much. Are we looking for huge statues and if so, is this a futuristic Indiana Jones? I'm a fan of not giving away too much but this needs something else to let us know that it's space or alien related. Even the tag line could be misconstrued that we are searching for our cavemen ancestors. But the poster itself is well designed and looks neat so I have to rate it fairly high.

Poster Stars: ★★★★☆



Trailer Analysis

This trailer was freaking cool. The music was daunting, powerful and creepy. Then they showed enough outer space stuff and action scenes to get you interested yet they didn't reveal any of the aliens themselves. Best of all, they didn't use any stupid voice overs or cheesy lines. High five!

Trailer Stars: ★★★★★



Sunday, June 10, 2012

PANCAKE MIX

I hate it when I get to the bottom of a box of pancake mix. It's always disproportionate water and mix fractions that I have to figure out.
It's early Sunday morning and you have hungry kids screaming at you.
You open the box of pancake mix and realize that it's almost empty.
There's just under two thirds of a cup of mix left and the recipe calls for two cups.
The recipe also normally takes one and a half cups of water.
How much water do you need to remove to correctly make delicious pancakes?
What do you do hot shot?
What do you do?!
Having to do math in the morning sucks goat nads. If only they weren't so damn yummy.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

RISE UP

Tom Morello from Rage Agaisnt The Machine rocking with Cypress Hill?!
Now that's bad fucking ass.

Monday, June 4, 2012

HIPSTER

In my Sociology class, the teacher was going around making out loud assumptions about the students. He was trying to show all of the obvious things about people that are clearly visible status symbols. He was touching on clothing, hair styles, jewelry and even what type of drink that person happened to have.
Most of the observations dealt with clothing. There's a sporty basketball chick with a Nike shirt, shorts and shoes, a well-to-do middle aged woman with a big wedding ring and of course, the standard plenty of people in WSU apparel.

After hitting most of the class, he made it to the back of the class, which is where I reside. One glance at my shirt and he exclaimed "Oh here we go!" Here's a cell pic of what I was wearing that day:


The teacher read my Rage Against The Machine shirt out loud. Then he said I'm probably fairly counterculture and that my political views were most likely non-traditional. His first question was "Do you drink PBR?" to which I laughingly agreed.

"What would you say he is class?" he asked "The hat, the hair, the Converse shoes..."

One preppy kid voiced, "Uh... a hipster?"

"Ah OK, a hipster!" the teacher said. "How does one become a hipster?"

I replied "Hell I don't know. I guess it just happens?"

I was a bit taken back as you can tell from my weak retort. Honestly, this is the first time that I have ever been referred to as a hipster. I didn't know if I should be pissed or pleased! So what does one do to verify and get informed? Google that shit! Here's what Dictionary.com had to say:
hip·ster
noun Slang
1. a person who is hip.
2. hepcat.
3. a person, especially during the 1950s, characterized by a particularly strong sense of alienation from most established social activities and relationships. 

That really changes my perspective on the issue as not one of those three definitions are bad. I always just assumed that hipster was a derogatory term. I thought it was some jackass trying to be cool with his guitar but was really just a douche with a ponytail. I guess I was wrong! So even though I'm not one for labels, I suppose I can accept that title loosely. But still, just because my hair is longer and I rock band shirts that must mean I drink Pabst? How odd.

That reminds me, I need to do a PBR run.


Featured Posts

Labels