THE QUEST FOR AN ICON

I've struggled for what feels like eons, to solidify a decent icon that could help represent lastdeviant besides just the name. I know it has been well used and abused by the corporate marketers and the propaganda machine en masse, but it really is a powerful tool. I feel like I need a symbol that's instantly recognizable yet not too tacky or cliche. Just look at how much of an impact a good symbol can make on you.


I want it to be straightforward, semi self-explanatory and minus the bells and whistles so it won't draw attention away from my works. Over the years, the gas mask has somehow integrated itself as my shtick but every chintzy dill hole that tries to be "edgy" uses that too. It's also become really trendy now that everyone is infatuated with zombies and end of the world movies. I love them but I don't want to be solely known as the gas mask guy. Hence, that's out as a possible icon.

So maybe the key is something with just letters? I do have a thing for fonts because well... I'm a little bit of a geek. It finally came to me (as corny as it sounds) in a dream. I envisioned an "L" and a "D" slamming together with a locking sound. It was a pretty small part of that nights dreaming escapades and completely random. But seeing as it resurfaced from the depths of my twisted brain when I awoke, I took it as a sign that it should be brought into fruition and tried out. I'm sure there will be various color versions but the core two will look like the below image. I'll probably use the white "L" version more often than the black. Oh and that has nothing to do with race because I'm an equal opportunity font employer. Subconsciously white comes forward to the viewer and black recedes. I don't want the monochrome "L" getting upstaged by the fiery red "D" and drama to ensue. Fonts can be real bitches to work with. Anyways...


There you have it! Simple, solid and it will look great on a shirt sleeve or a button. You'll see it up and out front this week sometime when I post a new splash page for the site. Don't worry though, I won't plaster it everywhere like most ad whore corporations. Just expect to see it integrated here and there. Like for instance as my new favicon that's been up for a few weeks. Just in case you're not as nerdy as I am and you don't know what a favicon is, look at the little icon next to the lastdeviant URL or take a gander at the screen shot below. Booyah!



I would love to hear your thoughts!

SUMMER OF DISCOVERY

This year is the first time I get to have my daughter Alexandria every other week, from Sunday to Sunday, all throughout the summer. It's really freaking awesome. Unfortunately, I do have to go to work so I can't spend all day with her. I didn't want to stick her with some random person at their creepy house. We have all heard the horror stories of bad home day cares. I remember some of those when I was a kid and being plopped in front of the TV for most of the day is the last thing I want for my daughter. I don't do that at home so I sure in the hell won't pay for someone else to do it. I also don't want to ask anyone in my family because that really isolates her to people she already knows and she could use some personal bubble popping. Besides, how much can grandma actually come up with day after day?

Luckily my sister-in-law Jennifer had been searching online for camps. She stumbled upon one run by the city of Wichita called Summer of Discovery. They take them on multiple field trips per week, keep them busy with activities and swimming, she can win prizes and it helps her socialize with a broader range of kids. Not to mention it's way cheaper then most day cares. She's seven years old and needs more fun and "big girl" adventures anyways. But let me get to the real heart of this story.

As I was dropping Alex off for the first time at the Edgemoor recreation center, I realized that this exact moment was a part of my childhood too, except now I am the parent. My mother used to take my brother and I to the Orchard rec center for camp. It has come full circle and now my own daughter gets to enjoy camp as my brother and I once did. Those days are full of very fond memories for both he and I. All the games, friends, trips and fun really helped us become more social people. Plus it was a chance to feel more grown up and out of the babied environment of a daycare or grandma's house. It makes me feel proud and a bit weepy to know she gets to experience it too. Letting your children experience the good pieces of your life is freaking awesome.

HOUSE HUNTING

I ramble about movies and other nonsense but not one word has been typed about one of the most important things in a persons life. Nicky and I are shopping around for our very first house! We have both rented for years and now with our first child together, we figured it was time to make that next step.

We have looked at quite a few houses already and here's a basic rundown of what we are looking for, each section in order of importance:

PRIORITY REQUIREMENTS

• Nothing new (we hate boring modern, white walled, cookie cutter houses)
• At least 3 bedrooms
• An area large enough for a full photo studio
• Somewhat of a yard for the kids
• Obviously with the fewest defects as possible
• Safer neighborhood

SECONDARY WANTS

• Decent sized kitchen
• Garage (preferably detached)
• Yard big enough to play in and have a solid vegetable garden
• Hardwood floors (or decent wood under the carpets for later renovation)

AWESOME BONUS

• In or near Riverside
• Appliances included
  
• Classic architecture
• Fireplace
• Fenced in yard
• Screened in porch
• 100ft tower/keep to be used as a snipers nest
• Moat surrounding perimeter (crocodiles preferably included)
• Underground bomb shelter/fallout vault with full living quarters

We actually found a place (knock on wood) that we really like and we are going through the inspection and buying motions. It doesn't have a moat or anything but at least it has a full sized working shop with a bathroom and changing area that can be converted into a photo studio pretty easily. I suppose I can compromise.

Anyways, I'll be sure to keep you better posted on how it's going.

WSU STUDENT ORIENTATION

I sit in the food commons at WSU, waiting patiently. I just got a horrible picture taken for my new student ID and I'm try not to look annoyed by it and my surroundings. Neighboring me sits an array of post high schoolers. Uncomfortable nerds, jocky spuds, zit laden filler kids and a butt-ton of girls in their mall bought trendy clothes. Some of these young-ins are accompanied by their awkward parents. Needless to say, I'm the odd man out with my muttonchops, Black Keys shirt, neck tattoo and militant cap. Maybe I should mingle and make some friends? But do I really want to talk about Abercrombie's Fall line up, Lady Gaga's new CD or go on mall dates? Oh hell no. So why am I here? New student orientation and it's required.

Normally I like being the deviant in the pack. But this time it sucks because I'm paying for it. How am I paying for it? By missing work and I'm sure some of the thousands of dollars I dish out for a higher education went towards this painful event. I'm a junior year transfer student from Virginia and college life isn't new to me. The question is, why oh why must I waste a day from 9am until 1pm, sitting through this nonsense? Just let me take my classes and finish my bachelor's in peace.

The only good I took out of this experience was that I won a t-shirt due to the fact that I am the student transferring from the furthest away college. That would be from Virginia to Wichita of course. The other good thing was that I got to walk the school grounds which I probably never would have done. But overall, it was a waste of my time and tuition. Want to put my dough to better use? Offer more classes in the evening.

MOVIE REVIEW: X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

Short (Semi Spoiler Free) Verdict
The beginnings of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters aka the home of the X-Men. You get to see the relationship between Eric (Magneto) and Charles (Professor X) and the foundations for their ideas. There are deviations from the actual comics but it's probably the best "X" movie to date and enjoyable even to newcomers.
Stars: ★★★★☆


Full Review (SPOILER ALERT)
Prequels have a tendency to suck. They're usually an excuse to cash in on a known name or beloved franchise. We all know this movie never would have happened if Fox didn't want to squeeze every dime out of anything that starts with an X but at least it was done properly. I was quite pleased even with variations in the original storyline.

Hands down the raddest part of the movie was watching Eric Lehnsherr evolve into who we currently know as Magneto. He was ruthless towards his enemies yet you could completely understand why and still root for him. He was creative with his powers and it was awesome seeing him hone them. I would totally watch a Magneto only TV show with Michael Fassbender at the helm.

That leads me to what I enjoyed the most about this flick, the creative ways everyone used their super powers. From Eric yanking metal fillings in an interrogation to Charles making people forget that they were even there. I've seen this before in the comics as a kid and it's nice to finally see the movies start using their true potentials.

Charles, played by James McAvoy, filled the Professors shoes commendably. But without Eric to tango with, he wouldn't have had a leg to dance on. They played off each others traits, abilities and ideals so well. The supporting "good" mutants I really could have lived without along with a couple of the "bad" ones. Shaw and Frost on the other hand, played by Kevin Bacon and January Jones, were rousing and fit nicely into their roles. They were good choices for solid enemies to counter the Prof and Mag.

I would like to briefly mention the fantastic outfits and sets. Everything was appropriate for the time period of the 60's and it didn't look too over the top. The sets were very James Bond like but cool as hell. It was also a fun twist that they tied in real events and historical videos surrounding the Cuban missile crisis.

In conclusion, I was considerably absorbed and unequivocally gratified by this newest installment in the X-Men line up. I'm very harsh on adaptations of my cherished childhood comics and this met and surpassed my standards. So all you X fans… run to the theaters while you still can.


Poster Analysis
Everything I saw in regards to the graphics used for advertising was really really poopie. All their posters, save for one, made me not want to see the movie. I feared if they sucked so badly at their promotional work then the film itself would be terrible. But luckily I was wrong.

The first poster in my line-up might have been cool if the whole silhouette bit would have been used properly. But one uber lame issue strangled it, that stupid floating face. *sigh* The second poster is decent and it should have been the only poster released considering how bad the third one is. It sucks so terribly that it's flaws require a bullet point list.

• Over Photoshopped with horrible reflections
• Corny and homo-erotic facial expressions
• Bad posing
• Over all it doesn't tell you anything
• Why are some people in uniform and some aren't… it's confusing
• Average title font but with a cheesy lens flare
• The tag line needed rethinking and made more to focus on the X-Men
  

MOVIE REVIEW: THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU AND HANNA

Short (Semi Spoiler Free) Verdicts

The Adjustment Bureau
A higher power tugs at mankind's strings which Matt Damon keeps trying to cut, all in the name of love. Lighthearted, interesting, semi-witty and all with a feel good theme.
Stars: ★★★★☆

Hanna
A young girl has been trained by her father since birth to be the perfect assassin. Her target, the woman who murdered her mother. Artistic, well acted, stellar directing, great sets, interesting yet well fitting soundtrack and the girl was completely believable as a hardcore assassin. Awesome movie.
Stars: ★★★★★


Full Reviews (SPOILER ALERT)

The Adjustment Bureau
When I first started this movie I had a whole different idea of where the story was headed. I figured it was just going to be another tale about how big brother is a controlling jerk. It was indeed a "fight the power" drama but this time it was bit more fun. It was all in the name of love and "The Man" this time was god and his quirky yet stylish minions.

Don't let the god aspect make you think the punchline will be all preachy. They never even say who it really was, which I liked. It could have just as easily been super advanced aliens. All the agents were foreboding yet well balanced with plenty of class and humor. This really helped keep things from getting to dark and depressing. You felt the need to rebel against them yet you completely felt like they were somehow justified in their intentions. Damon did well and his struggle for love was pretty heartfelt. His flame Emily Blunt, was uber cute and I too would have followed her to the ends of the Earth. They made a surprisingly good combo.

Now there were some recycled concepts like the boogie man portal aka Matrix back door bit, but they were all done in a decently new light. I really dug the hat aspect and it made me want to go put on my fedora the entire movie. Overall, I finished this movie with a happy feeling in my tummy... that totally had nothing to do with the hummus that I was munching on. It fulfilled my desire for the little guy to win and it boasted the underlying motif that love is all you need. Both of which are values that I hold near and dear.

Hanna
It's really hard to sell the deadly child aspect, especially when it's a girl. I always think if a kid can do it, an adult can do it better due to sheer strength and experience. But choosing a sixteen year old was a good way to play this off down the middle. Not to mention this girl (Saoirse Ronan) did a fabulous job. She conveyed the entire gambit of emotions and roles without flaw. From youthful innocence to furious maelstrom and from lost child to well oiled killing machine. I hope she gets some kind of award for this movie.

Eric Bana was cool too and his character was pretty intense. It really takes a focused and hardened individual to mold a child into the perfect weapon. To make them the best would take serious training, constant pushing and the ability to stay fairly well disconnected. I kept wondering if I were in his shoes if I could do that with my own daughter. I don't know that I could due to the fact that I kept wincing in pain when he had to berate her. Revenge of that magnitude takes a lot of willpower and planning.

I think Cate Blanchett requires proper mentioning for her part as a cold blooded bitch. She was quite ruthless and I felt the need to curb stomp her face. Her flamboyant psychopathic henchman was a lot of fun to watch too.

My final thoughts? The Chemical Brothers soundtrack was different yet well fitting. I especially enjoyed the sets, lighting, camera angles and excellent filming style. Wait… I freaking loved it all! This director was pretty on point. The performances were grand and the story unfolded nicely. High five and five stars for Hanna.


Poster Analysis
Both posters are pretty solid but I do have some issues. Bureau's is artsy, has a film noir feel which fits the story and it's well put together. But, the "Fight for your Fate" tag line is a little hokey. Hanna's is simple yet intense which fits. It doesn't tell you much and you really focus on the main girls eyes which are very penetrating. The title fonts used were a good choice. The only issues is that the tag line would help draw it all together if it weren't so small.

MOVIE REVIEW: KILL THE IRISHMAN AND UNKNOWN

Short (Semi Spoiler Free) Verdicts

Kill the Irishman
Do you love gangster movies but have trouble identifying with the grease-ball Italian type? Now you can side with the Irish working class hero and still have your organized crime shenanigans! Great movie and the main guy, Ray Stevenson, did an awesome job pulling off such a bad ass role.
Stars: ★★★★☆

Unknown
Liam Neeson runs around Germany deciphering the fragments of his mind due to amnesia, all while battling identity issues. Not a bad movie but it wasn't really that noteworthy. Hey Hollywood, amnesia is lame.
Stars: ★★★☆☆


Full Reviews (SPOILER ALERT)

Kill the Irishman
I had never heard of Danny Greene before this movie. But now I can officially add him to my hero list. I can't believe that someone with ball as big as his was a real guy. He came from nothing and fought tooth and nail to get to the top of his cities organized crime syndicate. He took almost no shit from anyone and constantly gave back to the working class and his community. Greene fought and died for what he believed in and that always makes for a strong connection with me. So he stole some stuff, blew up a few scumbags and busted a skull or two. Sometimes it takes a criminal mindset to best criminals at their own game.

At one point he mentioned that he believed that he had descended from Celtic warriors. That might seem pretty cocky but I have to say, after watching this movie, I can believe it. He literally slapped grow men around, told the Italian mafia to kiss his ass and had a knack for charging head first after would-be assassins... even if they were shooting at him. Now that takes big brass balls in real life. He, like so many other hard cases with a heart of gold, did try to go straight. But unfortunately you can only piss on scorpions for so long until they poke you're wiener… or something like that.

This was an awesome movie with a lot of good acting. If you like mafia movies, have Irish blood running through your veins or you just want to watch a manly gangster typed movie with just enough raw violence, check this out.

Unknown
The problem with this movie was that we already saw Liam sleuthing around Europe in the movie Taken. The big difference was that he kicked a lot less ass this time around. With a poster tag line of "Take back your life" you would figure there would be more whipping of the buttocks. The plot twist was pretty easy to call which didn't help things much either. Don't get me wrong, the performances weren't crap or anything but the whole movie was just kind of average. The amnesia bit has been done to death by soap operas anyways.

The ending also leaves you feeling a bit empty. Liam finally figures out that he's a bastard, but then what? After all the chaos he and the main chick went through, they just stroll off all nonchalant? Does he go back to being a cleaner or does he decide a life of burger flipping is his true calling? Give me something here people! Usually I don't mind the open ended finale but this time it just wasn't enough.

If you catch this flick on TV and Taken isn't on, give it a go. So I suppose Unknown wasn't a bad title since this will no doubt fade into obscurity without anyone knowing.

Poster Analysis
Seeing as I'm a photographer and a graphic artist, I figured I should probably start giving my two cents about the movie posters as well. Plus I really really love checking out movie posters and trailers. I'm a sucker for quality advertising. Anyways...

Irishman's title font isn't too bad but the rest is a little too Hollywood gangster for my taste. "Oh look, an explosion and men with suits... we gonna have some Soprano styled fun tonight!" Not to mention a big caterpillar mustached face might scare people away.

Unknown's has a nice color scheme and I like the blurred background but overall it's a little too Photoshopped. The "rip" in the middle with the girls faces and a crashing car could have been presented better as well. It doesn't really fit and it doesn't stand out. The title font is OK but why make the "UN" blue? Why over remind us that he isn't known? Lastly, Liam's intense scowl and the fact that he's sporting a pistol makes you feel like he's going to rock your world in this movie. Completely false advertising.

MOVIE REVIEW: PRIEST

Short (Semi Spoiler Free) Verdict
Humans versus vampires in an alternate reality where a close minded church poorly runs the show. Sounds promising but it's all a farce. Turdy story, cheesy acting, average special effects and characters that you just can't really sink your teeth into.
Stars: ★★☆☆☆

Full Review (SPOILER ALERT)

I really wanted to like this movie. It's a dystopian future society set in an alternate reality where we've fought vampires since the dawn of time, all with a western meets Anime feel. Sounds like it should be mildly entertaining, right? But poor acting and a pathetic story made this far less than stellar.

The idea that we have to fight vampires with ninja paladins is pretty cool. But the first scene where the main priest gets to show off was pretty weak. He gets knocked down and he wasn't even that impressive. He fights better as time goes on but really, I'm not buying that these priests were so integral to humans winning the centuries long vampire struggle. A handful of these cross faced warriors brought us back from the brink of extinction yet four wussy vampires give the best priest a bit of a run for his money? Swords and Chinese stars work better than bombs and bullets? Riiiiiiight. Stick a tactical nuke in the middle of the vamps far too open and accessible nest and call it a day.

Let's move on to the churchly aspect. Hooray for standing up against tyrannical rulers that are blinded by their faith. But the church leader is seriously obtuse to a fault. He doesn't want the main priest to go investigate vampire attacks because it might cause mass panic in his people. Yet he's willing to call all the other priests out of retirement to hunt one of their own? You don't think the public would find this a bit more ludicrous and upsetting? Lame. You need to sell it better than that writers.

As far as performances, every actor forced their roles. The main bad guy (Karl Urban) was so incredibly lame. I can overlook a lot of bad acting if there's quality action and interesting new battle scenes but I just wasn't impressed. Plus the ending fizzled. So if you're on a flight and they play this movie, just shut the shade and take a nap.

INTO THE PIXEL

Back in February I wrote a blog about the Smithsonian's Art of the Pixel exhibit. Well today I discovered yet another example of how games are finally getting their dues. This exhibition is called Into the Pixel and shows that video game artwork is on par with fine art. Most of the chosen pieces are absolutely amazing. The show is on it's eighth year and from what I have seen on their site, it keeps getting better too. If you get a chance, take a look through all the galleries.

I've been saying how dope games are for years. Now people are really taking notice. Not to mention my generation of gamers is now starting to run things and this stuff is in our blood. Games are becoming more and more epic just like movies. More often than not, they're better. grandiose scores, twisting plots, stellar character development and of course, gorgeous artwork. Just look at how good their commercials are getting? You go play Shadow of the Colossus and not have your breath taken away at some point.

And I bet your parents used to curse your games too. See mom, games are awesome.

WE ARE DOUCHEBAGS

To follow up my douches on crotch rockets rant yesterday, I have a humorous video! It has nothing to do with sport bikes but it revolves around the people that almost certainly ride them. The sad thing about this video is that I know so many guys that are almost spot on with all the types of dildos portrayed here. How many guys in your world can you fit into these nut sniffing roles? Pay close attention to the stellar examples of attire, hair and mannerisms. I hope you get a chuckle out of this like I did. If you don't, it's probably because you're in a relationship with a douchebag. That or you are currently wearing a mall purchased, golden metallic printed, popped collared, pink Polo. In which case you need to go play in traffic.

On with the show!

CROTCH ROCKETS

When I was a wee little boy, I wanted a Kawasaki Ninja ever so badly. When I was about twelve, one of my twenty year old neighbor friends had one. He always looked so futuristic and awesome in his black suit and helmet with a random chick strapped to his back. Plus, anything named ninja has got to be dope. Oh how things change.

My opinion has since spiraled down to an almost disgust for any man that I see on a crotch rocket. If you were paying attention, you might have noticed that I said man. It's completely sexist but girls are still drool worthy when they ride sport bikes. Now I'm not saying that they are any less desperate for attention or any less deserving of the douchette title. It just gives them a bonus sex appeal point. Face it gentlemen, chicks can get away with damn near anything. Wait... I'm getting distracted. Stupid wiener. Back to my bitch-fest!

Very few people can slide onto a crotch rocket and legitimately be cool. Who I usually see straddling these speedy death missiles, are douche bag white boys desperately clinging onto anything that might raise their rad factor. They put on their neon padded outfits like some kind of knock off action hero reject. They rev their motors as often as possible, mechanically screaming "Please think I'm awesome and edgy!" No, you're actually annoying everyone trying to have a real life that's within earshot.

Sometimes they even flock together to try and make themselves look tough, via the gang approach. These hordes of dildos can be found meeting other shriveled penis types at gas stations or parking lots on the weekends. To give them credit, the convergence grounds are always in well placed locations. They're typically close to decent clubs, bars or highly trafficked locales in the dire hopes of turning the eye of some random moronic girl. At best, they might get a "woooo" screamed at them as the drunk ignorant chick speeds away. All these lame-o's stroke each others egos, puff their chests out, pop their padded shoulders and wiggle their helmet mohawks that they so lovingly glued on. Eventually they realize they aren't getting any and they disperse, revving all the way home, back to their pathetic lives.

Boys, you're trying too hard. On a crotch rocket, you will never be as bad ass as this:

Thus, 90% of all crotch rocket riders are douchebags. The end.

LAUGHTER SUPERCUT

If this some part of this video doesn't make you smile, you have no soul.

p.s. You'll have to wait through a commercial to see the good stuff. Lame, I know but it's worth it.

RESERVED FOR EXPECTANT MOMS

Nicky, Alex and I went to Babies R Us the other day. As I was hunting for a close parking stall, I discovered something awesome, they have reserved spots for expectant mothers!

At first, Nicky protested a bit about us using one because she's pretty able bodied. But after some coaxing, I convinced her that you can only park there for nine months out of your life if you have but one kid. Why not use it?

Finally, we get a leg up on those lucky handicapped vehicles.

VACATIONS AND PAYCHECKS ARE CRUEL

I just got back from Kanopolis for a Memorial weekend camping trip. After which it kind of hit me that vacations and paychecks are actually bittersweet, leaning more towards bitter. Your slavers let you off of your chain a couple weeks out of the year to go live a life as humans were meant to. Oh gee thanks. The real problem is that you have to come back. You might have a blast on your time off but it has to end. Then you're stuck with the pain of tasting freedom and bliss for most of your days. We go to a job that we can barely stand and deal with people we could definitely live without just for some spare change and a few days of rest. Fifty vomit inducing weeks a year to be throw scraps that are just enough to survive.

On that note, what are all those bags of pennies you labor for being spent on? The biggest of course would be your mortgage or rent. You have to have this so you can sleep, eat and avoid the elements until you can get back to work. Next on the list would be your vehicle. But we all know that it's primary use is as your means of going back and forth between your work prison and your slave cell at home. Then you have to factor in your food, utilities and medical expenses because you need to stay healthy. If you don't stay up to snuff you can't or won't be able to work, then the looming debt monster will get you. Lastly is all the fringe expenses like TV's, stereos, computers, games, etc. These are just mind numbing distractions that help keep you mind from wincing due to your meaningless existence.

When you break it all down and see what we actually live for, it's quite sickening. We are bred into a commercialistic society where we live only to be a cog in the machine. This is why I don't get excited about vacations or when I get handed my paycheck. I fake a smile because I know it's the only perks that I get. But I'm not fooled. I know they're just treats for the dancing bear. Now go put your little red hat back on and jump onto your tricycle, here comes the organ grinder.