WSU: DAY ONE

I feel old and out of place. Why? I went through my first day back at college on Monday.

See, I was attending Tidewater Community College back in Virginia Beach a few years ago. That entailed a lot of night classes with little to no drama or bullshit. This time it's in Kansas at WSU, a much bigger state university. Aside from feeling like a little fish, it's mainly geared towards post high school youngin's. That means I have to take a lot of day classes and it sucks for the working class stiff. Another sour note is that I have to retake some of the bullshit intro courses again because my credits wouldn't transfer. Hooray for wasted time and money. So most of my time there is spent sitting through boring stuff that I already know about, next to immature dill holes that are fresh off the yellow bus.

I've done the full time job and full class load before back in my TCC days. It wasn't a big deal when I was a single, swinging, mid-twenties, squid. I know that's not a very long time ago, but it sure feels like it. I'm in my early thirties now and my responsibilities and priorities have changed. House, family and a job that I can now lose… all grown up stuff. That also means my weekdays and free time are toast.

When I was in the military it didn't seem so bad. Anything that got me out of that uniform and the cogs of the machine was good by me. But now that I'm free from Uncle Sam's pocket, it's a whole new poop filled equation. Trying to maintain my freedom and sanity while balancing everything else is taxing. I know it's something that everyone deals with and that I'm not unique. I just feel like I'm losing touch with my artistic side. I think that mainly stems from not having clients, friends or an artistic reputation here in Kansas. I just haven't had time to tackle it with all the drama my ex put me through and the other speed bumps I've hit since I've been here in the Midwest. I... uh... wait... I'm rambling and making excuses.

Blah, blah, blah. I'm decaying one day at a time just like everyone else and I'm just bitching about it.



I do sometimes dream about putting this city and all the normalcy and monotonous life that goes with it in my rear view mirror. But that's simply a passing thought that I could never honestly entertain. I adore my family and loved ones too much. It would just be nice to become totally free and disconnected. To dip yourself into the "civilized" normal world only when you felt like it, not because you were born into it. But that's another rant...