When I was a wee little boy, I wanted a Kawasaki Ninja ever so badly. When I was about twelve, one of my twenty year old neighbor friends had one. He always looked so futuristic and awesome in his black suit and helmet with a random chick strapped to his back. Plus, anything named ninja has got to be dope. Oh how things change.
My opinion has since spiraled down to an almost disgust for any man that I see on a crotch rocket. If you were paying attention, you might have noticed that I said man. It's completely sexist but girls are still drool worthy when they ride sport bikes. Now I'm not saying that they are any less desperate for attention or any less deserving of the douchette title. It just gives them a bonus sex appeal point. Face it gentlemen, chicks can get away with damn near anything. Wait... I'm getting distracted. Stupid wiener. Back to my bitch-fest!
Very few people can slide onto a crotch rocket and legitimately be cool. Who I usually see straddling these speedy death missiles, are douche bag white boys desperately clinging onto anything that might raise their rad factor. They put on their neon padded outfits like some kind of knock off action hero reject. They rev their motors as often as possible, mechanically screaming "Please think I'm awesome and edgy!" No, you're actually annoying everyone trying to have a real life that's within earshot.
Sometimes they even flock together to try and make themselves look tough, via the gang approach. These hordes of dildos can be found meeting other shriveled penis types at gas stations or parking lots on the weekends. To give them credit, the convergence grounds are always in well placed locations. They're typically close to decent clubs, bars or highly trafficked locales in the dire hopes of turning the eye of some random moronic girl. At best, they might get a "woooo" screamed at them as the drunk ignorant chick speeds away. All these lame-o's stroke each others egos, puff their chests out, pop their padded shoulders and wiggle their helmet mohawks that they so lovingly glued on. Eventually they realize they aren't getting any and they disperse, revving all the way home, back to their pathetic lives.
Boys, you're trying too hard. On a crotch rocket, you will never be as bad ass as this:
Thus, 90% of all crotch rocket riders are douchebags. The end.
What a faggot. Just because you can't pull any doesn't mean you have to bash everyone else. I ride a sport bike and it in NO WAY helps attract ladies. Most women think you're gonna be dead soon. When I want to pull tail I show off my ability to speak several languages and tell stories about traveling. Girls fall heavy for that. I ride my sport bike because I love riding it. I always wanted one and I don't care what any miserable loser like you thinks.
ReplyDeleteGrate post cold not have said it better myself.
ReplyDeleteTimes have changed my friend. We're educated, established, parents, grandparents - with money fool !! And yes there are the daredevil demons. We call them "newbies". They settle down when their balls drop. But we are far from douchebags. We own corporations, speak multiple languages, and often times become a welcome financial contributor, when our groups do roll thru.
ReplyDeleteWe operate on our terms. You want us? you have to catch us. And few law enforcement will take it where we do, thats why we practice.
Sometimes we group, sometimes not. But if you are such an authority about motor cycle groups, with tricked out rides, evasion tricks, and custom sets from wheel to wheel .... You wouldn't make too many claims about a global force. And that is exactly what we are.
Check it out sparky, go to any continent. any common highway. and just listen ... 5 .... 10 minutes .... you hear one of us roll by.
We're a global force that spends $100 Bill. annually, And that employs millions of households around the world. Same gear, same bikes, same tricks, same manufacturers ... and a global market. That spends MONEY! Big Money.
So trash talk someone else. When something YOU believe in supports millions of households around the world -
Then - you can talk your shit.
Later,
Tough guy.
JC