MOVIE REVIEW: BATTLE: LOS ANGELES

Short (Semi Spoiler Free) Verdict
There isn't a better modern Marine ass kicking/kissing movie than this. If you like playing Call of Duty/Halo, you have testosterone producing testicles or you're a Marine, go see this movie immediately. The end.
Stars: ★★★★☆

Full Review (SPOILER ALERT)

Marines vs Aliens Loaf
Today's recipe is for the standard "aliens invade earth" sci-fi movie but with a heavy Marine frosting! Note, this recipe is for sheer action sci-fi junkies only. It is not intended for any real consideration of quality or original dialog, script, soundtrack or acting.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup technologically advanced and seemingly unstoppable aliens that want our resources
• 3/4 cups massive devastation worldwide
• 1/4 cup bleak outlook
• 2 tablespoons of collective human camaraderie
• 1 semi-recognizable Caucasian lead
• 1 tough Latino female supporting character
• 1 handful of disposable characters (variety of races preferred)
• 1 tablespoon of an almost impossible chain of events
• 1 teaspoon of alien weakness
• 1 family size barrel of today's Marine Core (contains healthy doses of American stubbornness, bravado and ignorance)

Let's start with mixing all the ingredients in a devastated Los Angeles bowl. We will use a military lingo coated spatula to blend all the ingredients together thoroughly. A standard over dramatic soundtrack pan will suffice for baking but don't forget to coat it with random civilians (kids included) to help non-military types identify. Set your special effects, action and explosions dials to high for maximum adrenaline pumping entertainment and cook for almost two hours.

All jokes aside, this was entertaining but I knew what I was getting into ahead of time. It's not meant to be an academy award winner, it's meant to be a thrill rush. Every jarhead will poke their chest out a bit further after watching this highly entertaining and action packed USMC propaganda film. Down with aliens, up with Uncle Sam. Ooh-rah.