Short Verdicts
(Semi-Spoiler Free)
Red
A decent mix of campy and comedy with action and over the top fun. This flick was a humorous look at dealing with getting old yet still wanting and being able to kick ass. New school versus experienced old timers.
Stars: ★★★★☆
Monsters
This was really drawn out with no real climax. I liked the premise and I'm down with showing human drama with a menacing creature problem as a backdrop but this just kind of fizzled. Not a lot of monster fun was to be had or even seen for a movie named Monsters. The story went no where and the whole thing was fairly boring. I'd give it 2.5 stars if I could but since it was shot and acted well, I'll be nice.
Stars: ★★★☆☆
Full Reviews
**SPOILER ALERT**
Red
Pit retired government trained elite operatives against the best that the modern CIA has to offer. Now that sounds fun! I really enjoy it when actors can use their age to their advantage. In my opinion, Bruce Willis will always be filed under bad ass in my mental Rolodex for his Die Hard work alone. He is getting older though. Not ancient by any means hence the still being able to slip back into hardcore mode was believable. The back and forth between the Karl Urban and Willis was pretty well done and Urban did a great job being a worthy opposite. The best part of the movie? Seeing Helen Mirren with a sniper rifle. Now that's awesome. This movie was good fun.
Monsters
Mighty big aliens have now taken a foothold on a huge patch of land between Mexico and the U. S. of A. Neither country has been able to do much about it in the six years since they arrived besides quarantining the entire zone. A couple of unhappy suburbanite white people work their way through Mexico back to America amidst the final closing of said zone. Sounds like this should be real thrill ride doesn't it? Well it wasn't.
The two main characters float through the whole movie either bitching about their lives, flirting with one another, wandering carelessly about or saying "What was that?" when they knew damn well that it's an alien. You're in the monster hot zone so what the hell else could that odd noise, rustling group of leaves or random ripple of water be caused by... Keebler elves!? They were both the classic stupid American types. The chick made too much noise and the dude kept forgetting to keep track of his camera or other important things like passports. You're in another country and it's Mexico. When I was there five years ago I kept my valuables strapped to me or in plain view at all times and there were no massive killer squids running amok. None that I knew of anyways. But still, where's you're head at?
They kept doing these shots of impoverished life in Central America like some National Geographic documentary but with alien undertones. A kid sitting next to a machine gun, villagers carrying downed fighter plane pieces, burned creature carcass on a villa... things suck, we got it. They worked gas mask signs, graffiti or the real deal into almost every single frame. I love gas masks more than most people but holy crap, talk about overkill. Flooding your movie with them doesn't make it edgy.
It all ended with the couple kissing after watching two big squids make out in a gas station parking lot. All in need of love, right? I just wasn't feeling it. Yes, we all see your lame attempt at juxtaposing outer space aliens with your stance on Mexican illegal aliens. They are both living creatures that just want to create a family in a better place. We know a wall will never keep determined beings out of a country whether they are from earth or outer space. Once the aliens got past the wall though, they tore into things and we hammered our own soil and homes to stop them. Are the creators of this movie saying that sneaky Mexicans will destroy America it if they get in and that the government will stop at nothing to keep them out? Hmmm... I'm probably digging too deep.
Anyways, I like the setting and the idea but I've seen it before and this attempt was really slow. I found myself wanting them to get to the action or or at least a quality punchline.
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