Tuesday, March 1, 2011

MICHAEL VICK IS THE NEW JESUS

I read today that the Southeastern Virginia Arts Association is honoring Michael Vick as a hero and throwing him a big shindig. It's going to be held in Norfolk at the Half Moon Cruise and Celebration Center right down from my old apartment in Virginia.

Say what!?

OK, let's first define hero.
1. A man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.
Now let's break that down.

Distinguished courage: Some might say he has courage to go through all that he has since he was busted for dog fighting. Well that's not courage, it's mandatory and deserved. He had to be punished just the same as any other criminal. Sure it sucks to go to jail or serve any sentence, but you don't get a choice. You fucked up, got caught, now deal with it. Real courage is what a fireman has when running into a crumbling inferno to save a life.

Distinguished ability: There are countless other athletes that are equal to or more skilled than Vick. He had his best season since his come back and it was nothing to bat an eye at but it wasn't epic. There will be a whole new batch of fresh young bad ass athletes next season anyways.

Brave deeds and noble qualities: He plays football like countless others before him and countless will after. It's not bravery, it's playing a game for money. Besides, what makes him any more brave than any other guy that steps on any other field around the world? Then there's the horrible and disgusting dog fighting aspect. Where were his noble qualities then? Again, it was about money.

The article that I read all about this in quoted the mega-moron Michael Muhammad, who leads the Southeastern Virginia Arts Association. He said "The term 'hero' is subjective. People talk about Michael Vick as a convicted felon, well so was Jesus Christ yet he was able to do things above and beyond the naysayers to the point that we all recognize him today as Lord and Savior." Hold the phone, did that jackass just compare Christ to Vick?! I don't care if you're religious or not, that's just retarded. I'm not even going to pick up that fumble.

Muhammad went on to say that Michael journeyed across country talking to youth about the harm of dog fighting, to be good and that Vick was the little guy who deserves the chance to be honored. Hold the phone again, did he just say he was the little guy!? Vick is a football star, makes copious amounts of money and he's deserves something more? For what? Because he got in trouble and had to punished? A lot of those "noble acts" were court ordered and I would bet most of the rest were due to his management pushing to save face. He only had to overcome obstacles that he put in his own path.

My question is what is this Muhammad douche getting out of all this? Why now? What set this all off? He probably just hates PETA for getting up in Vick's ass (deservedly so) and this is his weird and ignorant revenge. Just in case you didn't know, PETA is based out of Norfolk and is two blocks from where this black tie affair is being held.

Anyways, I'm not saying he should be lashed every Sunday for the rest of his life for his callous and cruel crimes. He did the requirements the courts passed down, regardless of how light they might have been, and that's that. Maybe after 20 years of kicking major ass and being a social superhero should he be considered but I see nothing to date deeming Michael Vick worthy of any honoring.

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