MOVIE REVIEW: I AM NUMBER FOUR

I went to go see I am Number Four this Wednesday in IMAX. I knew this wouldn't be worth a movie ticket, especially one that costs seventeen freaking bucks but I figured anything gets bonus points when played on a monstrous screen, really really loud. I also can find the good in just about any movie... usually. That and my buddy really wanted to see it for some unknown reason.

Short Verdict
(Semi-Spoiler Free)
It's Twilight with aliens. If you like watching teen heart throb Alex Pettyfer (unknown to me before this) for long periods of time, then go see this movie immediately. If you want an original plot with with great acting, new visual concepts and to leave the movie with your mind blown or jaw on the floor, look elsewhere. Rent it, pirate it or wait for Netflix. Don't blow much (if any) dough on this standard Hollywood filler flick.
Stars: ★★★☆☆

Full Review
**SPOILER ALERT**
This movie was chock full of teenage high school drama vomit. Jocks versus nerds, former cheerleader turned completely unbelievable artsy misguided and ousted loner, classic teens rebelling against their parental units, the works. As I mentioned above, this was essentially Twilight but with aliens. "I am this creature with great power but I can't be with you, girl I just met, because it's far too dangerous for us both. But I our love and sexual frustration is eternal!" This was the majority of the movie but at least this main guy wasn't a lanky, doofus, mongoloid with a down syndrome face and icky hair.

I suffered through all that WB network dodoo in hopes of getting an action packed finale payoff. I was only mildly disappointed. There were some pretty cool fight scenes but half of the time they did that blurry camera nonsense to save them from actually paying effects guys. I want to actually SEE the action damn it! I liked the powers each good guy had and I just wanted to watch as much of that as possible. Glowing palm heat blaster powers that you can also use as flashlights? Though it was interesting seeing how uncontrollable they were at first and how it progressed, we all saw that in the Ironman flicks.

My biggest issue through all of this was with the antagonists. Just because you shave their heads, slap tribal tattoos on their domes, put fake pointy teeth in and make them wear long black trench coats, doesn't make them scary, hardcore or cool. To make it cheesier, each villain was packing huge plastic looking alien plasma guns. Go-go sci-fi cliches! They really didn't put much thought into these clowns. I use the word clowns on purpose because they had the mentalities of handicapped children. Essentially, they were no match for the good guy aliens what so ever.

I know it seems like I'm taking a massive dump on this movie but really I'm not… well not that big of one. Maybe just a handful of rabbit turds. It had flaws but I've seen worse and it was still better than Twilight.